mauer im kopf

bricks and the stuff in between
angry fetid turgid bland
_terribly_ uncompromising

the faces though,
as they spread across this myopic sea
wouldn’t dare be caught listless!

it’s been years now
but where do i start
and when am i finished?

your violet trembling peach skin
that recalls drowning for the only second it’s pleasant-
it yearns to tremble for nobody in particular-

how this, banal, unbecoming, disillusioned
is what i’m supposed to yearn for
instead of clean proofs, こもれびー *

i am posed against the monolith of hours
the sapient judge of my worth,
and excuses are, as expected, lacking.

but why supplication to this unimpressed god?
stars, though fragile and constant,
really only seem to exist for half a day.

this room, いらないものだらけだ。**

my head, heavy with syrup that won’t slosh.
my heart, filled as it is, spiteful of a head who wont share all the pancakes it so obviously has.

the valve just shuts off half way through anymore.
i don’t know how to reset the timer or anything.
it’s real fuckin’ annoying.

at least we can have lunch tomorrow.

———————————————————————–
*-(komorebi – the light which filters through trees)

**-(iranai mono darake da – filled only with things i do not need)

A forceful speech

I endeavor, as i hope we may all once endeavor, to be gracious and capable. These things, however monastic, however solemn, are important. And how, through the years, i have come to ignore the discord and the buzzing that occurs on sour occasion in my garden.

there are a few things to consider, as humans. the least of which is not how we can’t be the impermanent flashes of sakura lighting which we seem to strive for without having to admit it. at the end of the day, we must consider eachother. most do not consider this fact.

of itself, though, i cannot feel sorry for the impudent and impatient masses. i cannot feel remorse as the twitching bags which happen to pay my way through food and toilet paper scream for their petty moments of control in a hopeless situation. Is it really control, or is it the hope that things will work despite not having made any decisions?

you, you greasy sea of LCL, are your own problem. understand this and be happy.

but i can’t stop sipping these delicious teas and thinking about how to make you go away for longer and longer periods….